Welcome to the Service Center
Posted by hawkeyetom on July 16, 2007
Is there someone you know that is need of a major serve? Stop by HawkeyeTom’s service center blog and serve them in front of everyone. This creation is Joe Daddy’s brainchild…his brain is now so overworked after this idea he’ll probably fail out of college for wasting so much of his already limited intelligence on a blog page idea, we owe it to him to use it!
hawkeyetom said
If that wasn’t a good enough serve to start I’ll continue with this…
THEANDYSERVICE!
Ian Smith said
Brandon (Queenie) King the dollar store called….
THEY WANT THEIR TATTOO BACK…
SERVICE!!
Joe Daddy said
Klobbo is a party poser!! I guess when you turn 25 all the manhood leaves your system and you forget how to party.
klobbo said
i’ve partied more in my 25 years of life than joe daddy could in 50. i guess thats what happens when you spend all your time in eldridge, ia giving hjs to hawkeyetom.
Joe Daddy said
I guess klobbo is suffering from memory loss in his old age because there was a time when Joe Daddy drank for 31 straight hours as Klobbo died off after 15 or so. Its ok when you look like Klobbo you need all the beauty rest you can get.
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
You’re way too beautiful GREEN
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have KURT suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn you beautiful GREEN
She only wanna do your dirt
She’ll have KURT suicidal, suicidal
When she say it’s over
Now you’re fussin’
And now you’re fightin’
Please tell KURBY why
HE’S feelin’ slightin’
And LAMPE don’t know
How to make it better
You dated other guys,
You’re tellin KURT lies,
Oh I can’t believe
What KURT’S seein’ with his eyes
KURT’S losin’ his mind
And KURT don’t think it’s clever
kurby said
who’s the fuckin asshole trying to serve me, reveal yourself and feel the wrath bitch!!
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
Verse 1) Lampe
I can’t really explain it
I’m so into you now
I wanna be more than a friend to you now
When they ask I mention my baby Green in the interviews now
And I don’t bring the problems from the 90’s in the 2 thou
That’s the reason I have a friend or two now
Cause the kid’s ready to tell how Kurt fell in a few vows
Maybe I speak in general now
But Green i’m a do whatever just to keep a grin on you now
Where I go they wear bikini’s in the winter two now
What you think about tan lines on the skin of you now
Why wouldn’t I wanna spend a few thou
uh..Fifth Ave, shopping sprees, and those dinners to chow
I ain’t concerned what other men would do now
As long as when I slide up in you ,you growl
And any dude with you he better be a kin to you now
And I ain’t jealous it’s the princible now
I’m so into you
(Chorus) Green
I really like what you’ve done to me
I can’t really explain it
I’m so into you
I really like what you’ve done to me ( I really like)
I can’t really explain it ( I can’t explain it )
I’m so into you
( Verse 2 ) Lampe
Come on sara’…
It’s more than the flashin’, I woulda’ traded it all in a ordinally fashion
A villa in Florida we crashin’
Just off the shore, so you can hear when the water be splashin’
Drop top pre in the quarta’ we dashin’
Flawless diamonds in the boarda’ flashin’
And the money we outta be stashin’
I make sure every quarta’ be cashin’
I can’t really explain it
My friends be thinkin’ i’m slippin’
These girls be thinkin’ i’m trippin’
What kinds of weed he be smokin’, What type of drinks he be sippin’
Sweet thing just to think of you dippin’
You had me with the blues so hard, you would think I was crippin’
Now you relaxing in the benz
Credit cards with no limit, so you won’t worry about maxing when you spend
Ever since you been asking about the friends
How’d you like if both our names had Jackson at the end
( Chorus ) Green
( Verse 3 ) Lampe
I don’t need trip where truth is
Green the way you put this state, remind me of the strips on rofess
You love my smile no matter how chip my tooth is
With you it ain’t because my wips is ruthless
So sit on chrome dipped up dueces
And you ain’t flattered by canaire mvs dipped Jasues
Cover ballers look dumb when they pressure 5 or 6’s
You don’t let them kind of numbers impress you
Even though I was somewhat sucessful
Being a player was becoming kind of stressful
But ever since this superwomen has come to my rescue
My winters be wonderful, my summers be special
Let’s fly to St. Barbra, the villa be painted
Just so we can get really aquainted
The love is there
Theres no way it could feel like it’s tainted
But I can’t really explain it, yeah
Kurby said
wow you have way to much time on your hands……….fag
DickBlister said
To add to the serving of Lampe, dude is now pissing the bed an average of 3.2 times per month, which also breaks down to bout one bed pissing per week. Them the breaks son, Tots.
P.S. “Bonaduce Breakdown” has to be none other than eric-c-smith.
DickBlister said
Mighta served myself mathmatically regarding how many weeks are in a month and what not. O well, can’t win em all. Also just realized I may have served myslef in this very message Grammatically with the spelling of “mathmatically”.
Im tryin 2 hit KP
DickBlister said
Mighta served myself mathmatically regarding how many weeks are in a month and what not. O well, can’t win em all. Also just realized I may have served myself in this very message Grammatically with the spelling of “mathmatically”.
Im tryin 2 hit KP
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
I knew Kurt would be too stupid to figure out who this is. If anyone else has a guess go ahead. If you still can’t figure it out. I will give you a hint. Here it is……..I haven’t had sex with sarah green.
Zlist said
Kurt, seriously keep reading. It’s not a serve about Green. Anyways I have a question… So if your mom named you Kurt because she thought Kurt Russel was hot, does that mean your mom thinks you are Kurt Russel and in affect actually she wants to ride you reverse cowboy like she would the real Kurt Russel?
DickBlister said
I think Kurt has taken his own life by now. If not, maybe it’s something you should seriously consider.
P.S. I bet Ozzy is the infamous “bonaduce breakdown”.
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
Ace of Base
This is the link if you don’t know the song……._____
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RYo0JpT410
If you wanna leave
Kurt won’t beg Green to stay
And if Sara’s gotta go darling
Maybe it’s better that way
kurt’s gonna be strong
kurt’s gonna do fine
Don’t worry about this heart of lampe’s
Just walk out the door
See if kurt cares
Go on and go, but
Don’t turn around
‘Cause you’re gonna see Kurt’s heart breaking
Don’t turn around
Lampe don’t want green seeing him cry
Just walk away
It’s tearing kurt apart that you’re leaving
He’s letting Green go
But lampe won’t let you go
Kurt won’t miss your arms around him
Holding him tight
And if Green ever thinks about him
Just know that he’ll be alright
He’s gonna be strong
Kurt’s gonna do fine
Don’t worry about this heart of lampe’s
He will survive
He’ll make it through
Kurt will even learn to live without Green
Don’t turn around…
P.S. Kurt this is for your own good. I really want to see you get over green, it is affecting us all seeing you like this.
HawkeyeTom said
I hate to post a burn that’s not against Kurby but I think he needed a break. The following are copied directly from my FaceBook wall:
James Colbert wrote
at 6:53pm on August 13th, 2007
we all know bravo isn’t going to happy valley……its extreme makeover home edition part II at mr. knipper-schneider’s house.
Aaron Schneider wrote
at 9:50pm on August 13th, 2007
klobbo’s so sick by the way, he’s so sick he’d rather hang out with some ripped ames broad on the couch of 608 snuggling, as opposed to partying with his friends…..
Johnny Bravo said
C-Wags……….the C meaning corporate of course…….
HawkeyeTom said
and the serves on my facebook wall continue…
James Colbert wrote
at 2:22pm on August 14th, 2007
oh yeah thats such a sick serve. you wanna talk about not partyin with your friends. i haven’t seen bravo in about 3 weeks and we’ve been going out every night. i’d rather get drunk and snuggle one night than be ripped for the rest of my life.
Aaron Schneider wrote
at 1:13pm
tom, klobbo and I had a real long talk last night about why we were serving each other on your wall as opposed to ht@alldaydotcom.com or on each others’ (i think that is right or should it be other’s…..witherszszs) wall. anyway, i don’t really think that we should stop this, so i am simply gonna serve klobbo by saying “serve” and that being my serve is such a serve that he could not possibly serve me any harder than that……….p.s. klobbo was in true form last night and when i left he defienitely told me I should stay cause he was gonna hit on the ugliest broad he could find……hilarious.
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
After hearing from a few sources that Kirby is getting pretty upset about the serve’s from me, I thought that maybe, just maybe I should stop all this nonsense…..but then I realized how much of a baby Kurt is, so here is another:
Kurt Will Never Find Another Lover
Sweeter Than Green
Sweeter Than Green
And Kurt Will Never Find Another Lover
More Precious Than Green
More Precious Than Green
Sara You Are..
Close To Kurt You’re Like his Klobo,
Close To Kurt You’re Like his brandau,
Close to kurt You’re Like his luke,
Close To kurt You’re Like his west point,
And Sarah’s The Only One Kurt’s Everything
And For green This Song kurt Sings….
All Lampe’s Life
He Prayed For Someone Like Green
And Kirb’s Thanks God
That He..That He Finally Found Sara
All Kurt’s Life
He Prayed For Someone Like Green
And He Hopes That she Feels The Same Way Too
Yes, Kurt Prays That Green does Love him Too
Random Observer said
Wow, these serves on Kirby are hilarious. Whoever it is, is a creative genius.
The REAL Bonaduce said
The serves on Kurby, in my opinion, are most likely and combinition of the great minds of Burns and Big Kid. These serves are something out of fairy tails.
Burns needs to get something to do and Big Kid needs to lay off the heaters in the barn.
I can’t wait to hear their reply.
God I fucking party.
The REAL Bonaduce said
p.s. You’re all ripped, especially you Jones
Kurby said
yea i’m gettin real upset you fucking retards……its real hard to find a song and change words to kurt and green….i would expect more from you douche bags, like maybe a real serve instead of trying to serve me cuz i fucked bravos maid of honor……i like a good serve as much as the next guy but until then grow up and don’t write anything else until its funny.
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
Kurt, I heard this song the other day and couldn’t stop thinking about you……I read your last post and can really see the angst coming out in your blogs. I think that you need to use this site as a way to get out the anger you have pent up inside still, over your’s and green’s breakup. If you need someone to talk to, you know who to call…………actually, you don’t. Cause I’m going to keep serving the shit outta your ass till the day holli jo forgets about GGW!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGOMIf1PEE0
Kurt was so high he did not recognize
The fire burning in green’s eyes
The chaos that controlled his mind
Whispered goodbye and sara got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in kurt’s heart
This love has taken it’s toll on kirby
Green said goodbye too many times before
And sara’s heart is breaking in front of lampe
he has no choice cause he won’t say goodbye anymore
Kurt tried his best to feed green’s appetite
Keep sara cuming every night
So hard to keep green satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again
This love has taken it’s toll on kirby
green said goodbye too many times before
And sara’s heart is breaking in front of kirby
he has no choice cause he won’t say goodbye anymore
kurt’ll fix these broken things
Repair green’s broken wings
And make sure everything’s alright
his pressure on green’s hips
Sinking kurt’s fingertips
Into every inch of green
Cause kurt knows that’s what green wants him to do
Zlist said
Everyone, I would like to point out that it has been nearly a year since a man we know pulled off one of the all time great Bonaduce-like Breakdowns. Some of my closest friends witnessed and participated in the event (Eric), but the best part is that everyone can enjoy it. Without further ado, I wish that all viewers of Hawkeyetom.com.com take time out of their busy schedules and watch Larry Jones’ absolute meltdown during the Syracuse game last year. It’s worth your time…everytime. I included this in the serve blog because seeing Larry at his weakest moments is the ultimate serve. Enjoy.
Zlist
P.S. Kirby loves Green
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
Kurt, I heard through someone that JB told them your girl is now icing someone else?? That is too bad, considering we all know you are still hooked on Green like Brandau is hooked on cochlears!! Serve. Second, I also heard that you couldn’t seal the deal in Chicago with some C-head? what happened to the times when Kurt could go into a bar and pick up the fattest ugliest broad in there? Times are a changing my friends, times are a changing. And so I will leave you with this……
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VeeNjUB-ZjA
Kurt kissed a drunk green
Kurt kissed a drunk green, yes he did
Kissed a drunk green on the lips
He let his guard down
How could he have been so dumb?
Green’s eyes were open
He knows he is not the one
He knows he’s not the one
He knows he is not the one
Kurt kissed a drunk green
Why does he do these things he does to himself?
Kurt kissed a drunk green
And now he’s sure he could have been anybody else
He went to sara’s house
And everybody there was gone
Her little cousin just passed out on the lawn
They walked to his car
She mouthed “Is everything ok?”
Green leaned in slowly
So now Kurt can say
He kissed a drunk green
Why does Kurt do these things he does to himself?
Kurt kissed a drunk green
And now he’s sure he could have been anybody else
Ian said
Zman, that video is a classic. I just watched it again and I almost died laughing.
I am going for the HAWKKKSSS!!
kurby said
well the time has come to reveal your weak self. i challenge you to a drink off of your choice. whoever gets more lar will forever be the person who deserves to get served. unless you step up to the challenge no one will any longer take you seriously, and if they do i challenge all of them also. if you are a soft drinker, which i can only assume, then we can get in the ring to see if i can go 2 for 2 in breaking my hand on a cheesetit, huckelberry finns face. although i can only imagine you will stay behind your hidden identity and continue to fake serve me while i continue to read your unbelievably clever “serves”
Dick Blister said
I still take it seriously Kurt, as I imagine most everyone who frequents this board does. I say the serves continue and possibly even grow in harshness and quantity.
Dick Blister said
Also, Lets make this drink off interesting….. see who can the drink the most and NOT piss themselves at the end of the night. U lose every single time, thats real talk. Breaks……… Them The.
kurt said
sorry not all of us only drink 4 drinks then call it quits, oh wait i forgot how lar you were at the tailgate….soft. maybe you should start to boose on your long days off and maybe you could hang….kill yourself.
klobbo said
we might as well just shut down hawkeyetom.com due to inactivity. you do realize theres been 6 weeks of college football and no new pictures yet right? this website is taking up valuable internet space that could be used by eharmony.com or hornymatch.com. i’d rather spend my time going to a website named buckeyebill.com or gophergus.com where people actually party and take pictures of it. kill yourself tom.
HawkeyeTom said
I’ll accept that serve but I’ll put most of the blame on Man Bear Pig, he said he would send the the pics he took but the half-man, half-bear, half-pig man is unreachable.
However, it is pretty ballsy that Klobbo (who partys like a jr. high girl) deliver the serve. While Klobbo’s ability to party is off the charts, his real-life partying is pretty lackluster. I’ll display the true Klobbo on his own created scale of partying from Chris Harper to CWagz…
CH——-|———————————————-CWagz
Klobbo
Bonaduce's Breakdown said
It’s been a while hasn’t it fellas?? I wanted to let kirby think that this was all over and that I was actually scared of him challenging me to a drink off. First of all kirby what are we 16 and in high school again….you’re challenging me to a drink off like you’re some kinda frat fag. This isn’t west point where we go off beat our sister/wife after getting the shit served out of you ya forehead kisser. Second this is not a one Johnathan Bravo or Eric smith like everyone thinks that it is. You’re probably never gonna guess who this is and I would reveal myself under one condition…..Kirby has to fuck the slut we all know as Holli joe, and tape it for all of us former 608ers to watch. I would also like to add to the fact that if anyone knows of any of our friends being any softer than “KURTIS!” let me know, because I have seen a lot of bitches in my day and none of them have a bigger gash than Lampe. what a fag, can’t wait to see what your queer ass has to reply that is going to be gay/dumb/about as witty as bravo serving someone……bury one all of you.
kurt said
wow, apparently you have something personal against me. i apologize for being such a thorn in your side. clearly i am not witty enough to make fun of someone with a hidden identity. well i guess you win, you’re cool(klabbo), you’re cool (your boi c-wags), i’m out.
Bonaduce's Crack Dealer said
I think Kurby is getting frustrated. Quit poking the gorilla Bonaduce.
JB said
I received this email from a one Wild Bill Landis. I figured i should post it since it made me laugh…..but then again, so do klobbo’s weak serves. P.S. Bonaduce bury one.
greatest story of servitude youve ever heard:
Two mondays ago on eof my co-workers brought in these peanut butter/caramel-delight-cookies….to which i ate alldatlongdotcomdotcom, and there were leftovers come the day’s end. “bill, why dont you take these home with you?” i thought to myself, “holy moly, those are gonna taste even better ‘later,’ much better than they have all day.” so i replied, “sure, id appreciate that and ill put them to good use.”
one zip lock bag later, and heres comes 530, time to go. so im walking down the street, with my cookies in the breast pocket of my coat. great day out, and while standing at the corner, a beautiful girl with a thick russian accent says, “excuse mr., where is state street?” she was hot, too. i think to myslef, man, id love to tell you ALL ABOUT state street….then, just as Im about to answer, this flying obeject flies by my face, and splatters on the ground right by my foot. keep in mind, its a crowded corner at 530 on michigan avenue. i look down, and its an enormous, yellow and green striped loogie. groos. i turn around ot find the source of this monstrocity, and its man,about 40 years of age, staring right back at me. by this time, the girl from russia, BEGGING for state street is involved too. i keep looking at this man, hes about 5 foot nothing, expecting atleast an insincere apology, as does she. the guy says, looking at the girl and striving to impress her, “i bet i make more money than you.” did he just say that???? really???? this guy really barked up the wrong tree i think to myself. then, a big grin stretches across my face as i reach into my pocket, slowly start to pull out my peanutbutter-caramel-delightful-party-cookies, and say, “Well, sir, would you like to have a cookie???” as I shake the baggy slightly above his receded hairline. everyone at the corner, oberving the whole matter, busts into laughter, the girl takes my directions, takes them real deep in fact, and we get the crosswalk light, and i leave the man in his tracks, speechless.
late rtha evening, its true, i DID eat ALL of those cookies. and they were great