New Start
Posted by hawkeyetom on April 16, 2006
The last blog page was getting to be a little long. Brennan can spell all new words wrong, Joe can type “sick burn son” while doing his Pee-Wee Herman giggle and King can be King starting from scratch again. You can still browse back to the other conversation by clicking “Talk Smack” category on the right.
9 Milla Stratight Killa said
Yo today’s “sick burn son” goes to the KING himself for leaving a great voicemail on bubba’s phone. Way to get it done big guy!!!
Wes Wes Ya'll said
Hey Jon, just letting you know that when you are done crying on Alex Thompson’s shoulder, to also take the 1′4″ piece of dangling flesh that you call a penis out of his fucking asshole and cut it off cause you wont ever use that thing again once he leaves Iowa . . . also quit sucking corn nuggets out of my mothers diareah shit, cause thats just sick . . . now go out of the “OCHO” and walk to the nearest curb and faceplant yourself, snig.
Wes Wes Ya'll said
hey Tom Joey told me a while ago to put my
Email address on here so you can keep everyone updated about the float trip and what not, so here it is . . .
owenfeen11@hotmail.com
U.S.D.A. said
wes wes sucks ya’ll
9 milla straight killa said
bubba gump shrimp
HawkeyeTom said
hey “unknown” suck a fat one. if you don’t have the balls to put a name up when you rip on me you’ll get your comments deleted. either grow a pair or stay the hell off my blog you pussy.
U.S.D.A. said
ok i grew a pair your a whore tom now you grow some hair
HawkeyeTom said
sick burn ya fuckin meathead
U.S.D.A. said
wes, 9 milla, monkeybutt and I are going to OWN all in the drunk relay race at the float trip!!!
So sack up ocho and start learning how to drink
HawkeyeTom said
Shit, I’d argue with the meathead if I could but the fucker is right…
Suck it ocho!
HawkeyeTom said
Those assholes are probably to get smoked. King is their only true assest, they drink like USDA looks, NOT GOOD. They probably won’t have enough people to compete, someone will probably “BULLKOFF” out and not go anyway.
The Andy said
Originally posted by Douchebag: “We’ll probably Bullkoff out and just not go on the trip.”
Tom if it was for your birthday I wouldn’t go. A real man wouldn’t edit my post.
Oh yeah, I took the liberty of ordering you some propecia. With any luck you can keep what little hair you have left.
HawkeyeTom said
First off, no burns were directed intently on you. Second, its a fact, we will dominate in the relay on the trip. Third, Bullkoff will probably Bullkoff out and not go as I said. Fouth, what faggots have their little sister and her friend write all over a friends car with mustard? And how freaked would they be if I returned the favor to their car?
That said, I will repost your origional comments out of respect for a man who will not Bullkoff out. Let me know when that propecia is coming in, I need it ASAP!
The Andy said
“Suck it ocho!”…
Eat a dick Monkeybutt.
The Andy said
I wouldn’t have cared if you had burned me, but editing my post I didn’t appreciate.
Talking shit seems to be the whole point of this blog in the first place. Anyone is fair game.
I can’t fucking wait to go drunken tubing. The only person I can vouche for is me, and I’m bringing my A game. Even though my A game is like Schulte’s C game.
Oh yeah the propecia was overnighted, it can’t arrive soon enough.
9milla+U.S.D.A=gay said
Is someone speaking? Somone who blames people for his car when they were not responsible! So in the words of the “ONLY Person of worth in the OCHO” DIKE OFF! Why don’t you save another table for Klabbo snigger! WHich Colbert are you going to be ditching us for next weekend?!?!
9 Milla Stratight Killa said
Hey you fuck bag!! i didnt talk shit to anyone recently, so kiss my ass you cum guzzler!!
9 Milla Stratight Killa said
Why are you bringing me and meathead into this battle? i was unaware that i had posted a comment that might cause reason to have someone post negatively towards me. maybe you cant read, i dont know. i want to be everyones friend
9milla+U.S.D.A=gay said
Who the hell are you talking to numbnuts? Noone was talking to you! That’s my name, deal with it… I would have made a different name if you two weren’t a couple of ass-fuckers and said shit to begin with, so deal with the name i am not changing it. My comments above were directed at TOM! Wasn’t it funny that you had no idea what i was talking about but felt the need to respond? Humm why could that be… oh i know! I’m 9milla i think the world revolves around me, i’m so cool they had to be talking about me. I can’t read? I think you need to take interpretation of literature if you haven’t taken it yet so you can understand what is being written on this blog… Because you obviously do not comprehend! Eat a fat one!
9milla+U.S.D.A=gay said
And to Tom’s comments of us being pussies and not being able to hang at the bar, there were three of us sitting by ourselves waiting an eternity to get served… While you sat with the other people and had an orgasm because they were around… Again, ditch some more! You do it everytime you are up here.
And to your comment of us taking the pictures while we did it, 1) Andy and i did not do it 2) I did not take the pics. So how could we take the pictures while we did it? It was not our idea, i thought it was fucking funny though! If i would have known how you act when certain people are around, i wouldn’t have gone to the same bar with you. I would have stayed home, drank like a real man (not that you would know what that is like) then i would have gone to a bar i didn’t have to climb over 18yr olds to get a drink. I denounce the nickname Bulkoff, it’s gay and i never liked it. So all your Bulkoff comments don’t mean shit.
HawkeyeTom said
OK, the gloves are coming off. Bullkoff, are you seriously trying to tell me that you had NOTHING to do with what happened to my car? You didn’t encourage anything? You didn’t come up with any ideas?!? Cause if you say yes you’re full of shit (as usual). Besides that, you say you “weren’t responsible” but you obviously didn’t seem to stand in the way while you watched it happen. Yeah, I got the copy of the picture of you flicking off my vehicle (cool pose though fag).
And seriously how am I supposed to ditch you when you are already asleep? Klobbo is at least 10 times the man that you are and Mikki kick your ass in any kind of drinking contest. Of course if you were to drink you’d have to get the okay from your girlfriend before you can. If she did give you permission you probably wouldn’t know what to do with all that freedom and would get wasted in an hour just to pass out before 10 (see “bulkoff passed out” video as reference if necessary).
As far as being the “only person of worth” in the OCHO, I’m sorry but you must have been reading the graph upside down, cause you’re in dead last sally.
9 milla straight killa said
You aren’t very good at math buddy because 9miila+U.S.D.A=GAY is incorrect. it actually equals men who dont have their balls in a jar on their girlfriends desk. on the other hand “bulkoff” is german for the exact opposite. HAHAHA
9milla+U.S.D.A=gay said
No i didn’t so screw off! I thought it was funny! Emily had the idea! Every fucking time you come up you ditch out and do your own thing, so as far as i am concerned i don’t care if you ever come back up because you always ditch out. And before you make any assumptions of why i didn’t go out maybe you should fucking find out why i didn’t! That probably never occured to you though did it? I’m full of shit as usual hu? What else am i full of shit about? When did i ever talk about the night i passed out? I am talking about every fucking weekend you come up, which hum, as far as i see has dwindle since you don’t work up here! Use us much? Maybe you should interpret things better, did i come up with the phrase Dike off? I was quoting Schulte! And if i remember correctly, even though i didn’t do anything to your precious car i offered to pay for you to get it cleaned.
HawkeyeTom said
Bulkoff: noun
pronunciation: “BULL – COUGH”
1. Dbag that will also answer to Nick, usually lives in an even numbered apartment.
2. Needs permission to go out and drink with friends.
3. Continuously bitches out on having fun and/or going out to a bar. In odd events the Bullkoff will make it out to have a good time but go home much earlier than the men that he tries to imitate.
Ex. Yeah we’re going downtown tomorrow night, no way would I Bullkoff out and miss that!
hawkeyetomlikesitintheass.com said
Site name, http://www.hawkeyetomguzzlescum.com
The creator =
1. Get’s off to anything that has a lastname that starts with C
2. Is such a pussy driver that he can’t make it through 1/2 an inch of snow in a 4×4
3. Has been such a bitch, there needed to be a peg board made for him
4. Doesn’t even have anything to be whipped by
5. Has Andy get a bar crawl shirt from Nick and never pays him back.
6. Ditches out whenever he is in iowa city, which i guess is not that much because he is never in Iowa City
8. Always bitches about drinking when in Iowa City, “I’m still hungover”
hawkeyetomlikesitintheass.com said
PROVES THAT HE IS A LITTLE GIRL BY ALWAYS SLAPPING HIS FRIENDS!
HawkeyeTom said
God this is fun.
Ok, lets just say hypothetically that you didn’t suggest any part of defacing my vehicle (which I have a hard time believing). You obviously didn’t, in any way, attempt to stop it like a friend should. And you smugly offered a couple dollars to get it cleaned as you walked by me in the hallway on the way back to your hermit hideout. For your info it took all they had at the carwash (4 guys, 2 with power-washers) to get that mustard off my windows. I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t dare do that to your little baby, you’d come out shooting if someone put a fingerprint on your windshield.
Now I’m really having trouble comprehending this “ditching out” comment. I come to IC as much as I can which, I admit, is quite a bit less than I used to. However, when I come to IC I NEVER ditch out on my friends. At no point do I ever say that a friend can’t come with me when I go to another bar, party, etc. In fact, I ALWAYS ask if you guys want to come with, sorry I party. It is anyone’s choice to come with or stay behind. If I choose to catch up with some other friends while I’m in town and you don’t want to come with, I’m not ditching out.
I guess I thought you didn’t go out cause you drank to hard the night before…of course that excuse usually doesn’t work two nights in a row. I guess we all just assumed that it was your balls missing, too bad they were on someone’s desk…. So Bullkoff, why didn’t you go out and drink Friday and Saturday nights then? I’m asking nicely now, all speculations aside.
9 Milla Straight Killa said
This blog is the greatest thing invented since pockets!!! Keep up the burns you two this shit is hilarious.
HawkeyeTom said
Bullkoff, I’ll have you know that the shirt was picked up by The Andy (a man) for Jim (a partial man) for the bar crawl. It is not me that owes you the money, it wasn’t even my idea…
I’m baffled by the rest of the comments. There were 4 inches of snow in Eldridge, I thought it was Karlin with a K (my fault, you’re right on that one it is a C), I don’t want to be whipped (its a sign of weakness), I don’t remember EVER not drinking when a Bullkoff did while in IC. The rest of the comments are not worthy of a rebutle.
------- said
Hypothetically… Hmmm, why out of nowhere would i suggest doing that to your car? Is that something i do alot? What do i ever do that is destructive? And why do i get all the blame for this? Smugly offered you some money in the morning, did you not notice i was in a pissed off mood! Which happened to be the same fucking reason i did not go out… Which had nothing to do with any of you guys. I went out 2 of the 4 night, one i was passed out, and the second for reasons i do not feel i need to discuss on here. I basically threw 10$ away that night, i didn’t go out and didn’t get any $ for my shirt.bI went out friday night, that was the night of your car.
------- said
The day after you go out, we’ll start drinking at 4pm and you will sit there, then have to take a shower, then sip on water for like an hour before you start drinking. By that time we are all drunk, don’t talk to me about drinknig.
------- said
I have to go to class, i am done with this shit. So delete all my posts, all my pics, all the videos, all the pics of kaitlin. Count me out (as usual) on joe’s trip. Sorry joe, i will buy you something before you go. I am done defending myself.
HawkeyeTom said
WHOA pussyboy! Wednesday night, yeah the night I stayed downtown till 2 AM (not sure how late you stayed up) yeah thats right I puked around 10 AM and felt like hell. When you guys didn’t drink as hard as me you were able to start drinking around 4 in the afternoon. I admit, I WAS still hungover and didn’t start drinking much until at least 7 or 8. By this time you guys were pretty drunk, but I believe there was only one that didn’t make it to the bar that night…
By the way, I was out till 4 AM that Thursday night. I’m sure it’s all our fault for “ditching out” on you since you passed out in your bed before 10. I guess we’ll have to just stay home next time you pass out?
------- said
You don’t have to worry about that, i am never going to be around you ever again. There won’t be a next time. LAter
HawkeyeTom said
Holy shit, I can’t even reply before you post again.
Obviously you are taking this way too seriously. The title of the thread category is “talk smack” which means talking out your ass (mastered by Chauff and studied heavily by Joe). This entire site is made up for entertainment, including the blog.
Take a fucking pill and relax.
KING MINOS said
King rules over all
U.S.D.A. said
The Andy is a ass clown
The Andy said
I love you too Brennan (and it should read “is an assclown”). Can’t we all just get along? On second thought that wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining, keep the comments coming.
The Andy said
Bad news Tom, I got an email back from the online pharmacy. They told me propecia is on backorder. Looks like you can kiss the rest of that hair goodbye.
HawkeyeTom said
FUCK!
My dome is going to get so sunburnt this summer, damn thats gonna suck. At least Emily will probably be there to rub some aloe on it for me…
The Andy said
Hey now, don’t make me end our friendship.
No Nickname said
For all you people, yes i am still going on the tubing trip. Everything was a joke, except for the ending of the friendship thing… I’M JUST KIDDING
The Andy said
Tom, this website needs a live chat. Make in happen.
HawkeyeTom said
Live chat? What the fuck do you think I am, a computer nerd?
…ok, I’ll look into it
U.S.D.A. said
DA HA TOM YOUR STILL BALD!
The Andy said
Hey 9millastraightkillaforillapussynothrillahumpsgodzillaandgorillas
I can smell your sick ass all the way in IC, take a shower.
U.S.D.A. said
SICK BURN ANDY JOE IS A BULL RIDING DIKE DIGGIN BALL SUCKER
HawkeyeTom said
Dah hah Joe
9 milla straight killa for rilla said
fuck all!!!!
DancingFool said
Oh man Tom I forgot about that mustard and katsup deal. Sorry man… I owe you a drink or 5.
9 milla sux dick!!
KING MINOS said
i think i beat off too much…
U.S.D.A. said
I know i do
U.S.D.A. said
But when i got nude pics of joe’s sister and 5 mins what are you going to do
KING MINOS A BALL said
HAH
9 milla straight killa said
thats ok brenna because i just took your sister’s “V” card and filed into my cherry poppin’ roledex!!! GOD she calls all the time wanting more and i dont know how to get her to stop!! Thats the price you pay for being so fucking good, and i proved it with your mom about a week ago. I got all the Grimes girls wanting my nuts in their faces!! fuck off you cum guzzling marble gargling queen. Oh yeah and by the way ‘dancing fool’, if i wanted lip from you i would jiggle my zipper.
No Nickname said
That’s funny you break out an old quote 9milla! The reason being i said that to your sister lastnight, then i did jiggle my zipper. It was kind of like Pavlovs dog, but instead of a bell i jiggled my zipper and her mouth started salivating.
DancingFool said
NO NO I beat off too much
U.S.D.A. said
king king king………. wow you are a true man and i thought 9milla would do anything for money but you 1 uped him make that 10 uped him congrats
p.s. i still WON the fishing contest and the puking rally contest
KING MINOS said
Im actually a little offended that 9 milla would be classifyed in my hierarchy…well I guess I do need a good court jesture. Laaaaaaaaaater twitches!
U.S.D.A. said
OUCH ANOTHER FORD BITES THE DUST!!!
HawkeyeTom said
King you are your own hirearcy, 9 milla is that nasty looking leper on the outside of the city’s wall. He aspires to be the jester for a man of your caliber…
9 milla straight killa for rilla said
Oh my god!! Another couple of comments by brennan and tom just sucking King’s dick! Do you two fuckers want a three way with him? You guys sound like a couple of ball licking homos who fantasize about gay butt sex with royalty. What ever trips your trigger and makes your peter spit I guess. Flame on fatties!!!
HawkeyeTom said
9 Milla- How am I supposed to have time for that if your sister keeps calling like she does? As they say, “She’s addicted to what Tom’s dick did”
KING MINOS said
Hey 9 milla, bet my Avalon could take you… Da da ha
No Nickname said
Another Ford bites the dust? What other one bit the dust? I would rather have an easy fix like an intake than drive a wedge on wheels!!! Anyone need a doorstop? LOL now i know why your paint is faded on the front, your car’s been used to stop doors so much and all the paint was rubbed off.
nick+katlin=whipped said
the pimpo for one, and two i think its faded becauas i dont know i drive it and not keep it in the shed under a blanket and third good job laughing at your joke no one else did
BURN!!!
U.S.D.A. said
i got you good you fucker
U.S.D.A. said
KING YOUR A STUPID BUTTHEAD
U.S.D.A. said
KING YOUR A DUMB BUTTFACE
9 milla straight killa said
Yeah thats right brennan, do what i say and make fun of king because you have completed the circle!!! Now ALL the Grime’s girls are my bitches!!!
U.S.D.A. said
………… cant spell my first name cant spell my last name but whatever just go blow me off again like tonight kind of like you in take blow up
U.S.D.A. said
shit make fun of you not mispelling and then i do it so nevermind that just go walk to work 9 milli vanilli thriller
U.S.D.A. said
did you try putting a STICKER over the crack in you intake
9 Milla Stratight Killa said
WOW!! Brennan isnt it about time to get some original jokes?
HawkeyeTom said
nah, his original jokes would suck even worse…
9 milla straight killa said
Sorry tom but i think you caught brennan’s retard disease of misspelling. Go get checked out!!
hawkeyetom said
dah hah 9 milla gay killa
i can edit my posts if i spell something wrong
dah
9 milla straight killa said
Yeah you would be the kind of guy to edit his post to not get made fun of!! Taste of your own medicine and GROW A PAIR!!!!
No Nickname said
For one, the pimpo ran like a damn champ!!! It was the breaks Andy did not want to fix! And two, my car is nice and tucked under its blanket damn it! #3 i liked the sticker on the intake burn.
U.S.D.A. said
9milla nice job pussing out on your bet tonight qigger bitch
p.s. cry all you want about me not drinking im going to own you in the pickle race
9 Milla Stratight Killa said
Brennan once you have the balls to even try any bet that i have done then you can open your mouth, until then only open it when you are sucking king’s dick you flamer.
HawkeyeTom said
When do you guys wanna do this pickle challenge? You do realize that I’m going to get the HUGE pickle jars from Sam’s? This isn’t childs play were talking about…
Here are the terms (subject to change):
I give the winner $5 for drinking all the pickle juice out of the jar first. In order to win you must drink ALL of the juice. Puking is an automatic disqualification, unless you eat all the pickles from the jar before the other person finishes their juice.
Let me know when I should get the pickles boys…
U.S.D.A. said
IM GAME ANY TIME
U.S.D.A. said
whats the hold up on the grad pics and vids lets go tammy
9 milla straight killa said
YO homey!! your graduation picture page isnt working!!! Get your shit together brother!!!!!!!!!
HawkeyeTom said
it wasn’t done uploading fucknuts. it took a while to get all the videos on. the shits fine now.
The Andy said
Hey assholes, anything happening saturday worth me coming back from IC for?
U.S.D.A. said
NO stay up there dike!!!
HawkeyeTom said
nah save the gas, i’m covering a 12-hour overnight shift at work saturday night. if your bored throw some mustard on your sister’s car for me. call nick, i’m sure he’ll help instigate…
9 Milla and The Andy said
Hey doitch bag get your facts straight. Joe and I were air guitaring to The Darkness’s sick ass song entitled “I believe in a thing called love”. If Joe and I are not mistaken it is track 4 on their August 5th, 2003 album entitled Permission to Land [contains explicit lyrics]. Other notable songs include track 1: Black Shuck; track 6: Givin’ Up; and track 10: Holding My Own (you know Tom like you are holding your own balls right now). Eat it you wanna be computer nerd. You’re nothing but a fucking poser. Suck it!
The Andy said
Oh yeah, by the way Eve 6 is way cooler than you hawkeyetom[EDITED]alldaylong.com.com
HawkeyeTom said
Easy there guys. It’t not like we all weren’t a little drunk by that point, I missed a small detail. I guess since you guys played “Anytime” by Eve 6 about 15 times that night I just figured that is what you were air guitaring to.
The site has been corrected.
And I never claimed to be cooler than Eve 6, who else can make a title track to a crappy movie like Out Cold?
I’ve got great comebacks but I’ll save them. I don’t wan’t you guys to get mad at me and ask that I take all your pictures and pictures of your girlfriends off my site…